Laughing at Yourself

Dear Tori,

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We all try to keep from doing things that make us look stupid. It's only natural. A friend of mine had a hard time keeping from putting his foot in his own mouth, and from watching how he handled the aftermath, I learned a valuable lesson that changed how I feel when talking to others.

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Mike was a good friend of mine. Matter of fact, he was with me the night I met your mom. As soon as you met him you could tell he was a social person. The kind of guy that would walk right up to a group of people he didn't know and say something that would get everyones attention and start a conversation. I didn't have the same talent as him in that regard and always respected that he could do that. He was a friendly guy with a great sense of humor that easily laughed and said things that made you laugh. You could never tell that for the first 20 years of his life he suffered from a speech impediment that resulted from anxiety in public.

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He told me once that how he got over his speech impediment was to finally come to a point where he was able to accept and laugh at his own mistakes he made in front of people. He said as soon as he was able to do that, all the pressure to not make mistakes was washed away and he didn't care anymore and the anxiety vanished.

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He also said that he noticed people enjoyed hanging out with him more because he was able to laugh at himself, and by example, others felt more comfortable and relaxed because they also stopped feeling pressure to not look stupid and just be themselves.

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I came to understand that, by him laughing at himself, he gave other permission to be themselves.